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ODST image by Aeshir

Date: October 2nd, 2009

Length: 2:46:30

Hosts: Chris, Brett, Mikel, and Tyler.

Special Guest(s): None

Intro: House - episode "Epic Fail"

Closing Words: Chris Antista "CHARLIE IS ENGAGED?!"

Closing Song: Shael Riley - "Chinese Ninja Warrior"

Content Covered:

  • Top 7 Things ODST does better than Halo 3
  • PSPgo
  • Super Street Fighter IV
  • Gran Turismo PSP
  • Monster Assault Drink Taste Test
    • Brett Elston: Gargling stripper piss/diet grape soda piss.
    • Mikel Reparaz: A teabagged by a candy Soap MacTavish.
    • Chris Antista: Like a candy necklace, but if you replaced the candy with ears of the Vietnamese.
    • Tyler Wilde: Grape Soda and NyQuil.
  • The Tyler Wilde Stories. Longest personal story ever told. [1:09:20-1:39:40]
    • Cult Leader [1:09:20-1:34:50]
      • His theater described by Tyler as "a dingy shithole that smelled like paint thinner and shit".
        • Mikel Reparaz: "That's just about 90% of all modern performance art."
        • Chris Antista: "Imagine Gallagher performing but instead of watermelons, with shit, B.O., and sperm."
        • Mikel Reparaz: "What I'm gonna say, if you live here, there is going to be a lot of fellatio, and you won't be on the receiving end."
        • Chris Antista "What I'm saying is that there is room for rent, but always a vacancy in your mouth."
      • Mikel Reparaz couldn't believe Tyler Wilde didn't leave at this point
      • Tyler Wilde said Hemingway was his favorite author to find out if the cult leader was after his money.
    • Gay Indian man baiting Tyler. [1:34:51-1:39:40]
    • Conclusion of the Tyler Wilde Stories told by Chris Antista "Experienced two alternative lifestyles his little mind was not ready to comprend."
  • Ask a Games Jaranalist':' Grand Theft Auto IV is the game the Rockstar PR people gave OXM shit with a 9.5 review.

Notable Facts:

  • The Quote of the Week was abandoned due to the hosts' beliefs that the community would come up with their own each week. Although many users have their favorite lines (which are typically posted in each week's episode thread), the quest for a single quote of the week for each episode has been abandoned.
  • Tyler's first game reviewed at GamesRadar was Super DragonBall Z.
  • Brett Elston becomes progressively more ill at the end of the podcast.
  • Audio was used that would eventually become Twishart's "Don't Put Hot Sauce on Your Penis" remix. [44:50]
  • ODST Pano image made by Aeshir.
  • Tyler Wilde shows his existentialist literary background by associating "The Stranger" with French Algerian philosopher Albert Camus.

Funny Stories and Quotes:

  • Chris Antista
    • I'm afraid of taking a wank. Ever since they made a webcam that could turn on for no reason.
    • This is going to taste like a Halloween enema.
    • Ninja Gaiden's defense was 3 not 4.
    • Tranny sex. It has cheapened.
    • I as a 8 year old wanted to dress as a piece of shit for Halloween
    • @Tyler Your mom sometimes is a pushy bitch.
    • Observe and Report. We have 4 to giveaway. Unfortunately one got misplaced and is nowhere to be found.
    • John Madden is a piece of shit.
    • I notice if I don't empty my tank, my fist clench and I'm willing to punch people so I need to get that out.
    • Seriously the lore of GI Joe?
    • On the character models in ODST: "Characters look Downs-syndromy. Like Haley Joel Osmond from AI when he ate too much spinach."
    • "Irish music is drunk jazz so Irish wouldn't fight each other."
    • Do you realize you are parody Simpsons characters that only show up for one episode and get made fun of?
    • See it's not weird for me to get in a car.
      • Mikel "no that is weird. You do not get into strangers cars."
      • Chris "I was 29."
  • Tyler Wilde
    • His gym teacher in high school was fat and a racist.
  • Mikel Reparaz
    • Had to DJ at his wedding since the DJ got a DUI and couldn't show up.
    • My wife went as a brownie and was hella sexy (halloween party)
    • Gran Turismo I know what kind of tires I own.
    • I'm drunk enough. I can't process enough.
    • I went to Toys R Us and the guy didn't know what a Castlevania was. I blame you Brett
  • Brett Elston
    • Take your shit into Toys R Us.
    • I'm the only sober person in this room. The other 3 are obnoxious.
    • As a 9 year old a werewolf with swords sounds awesome.
  • Halloween costume stories:
    • Chris Antista: Wanted to go as a piece of shit as an 8 year old. Instead was a toilet and wore a brown shirt.
    • Tyler Wilde: Was a swamp monster and hated it.

Question of the Week 55: Game you played and beaten, but no one else has?

  • Mikel Reparaz: Jaws Unleashed
  • Chris Antista: Mario 2
  • Brett Elston: Werewolf: The Last Warrior
  • Tyler Wilde: A penguin puzzle game with 99 levels.

Link: Episode 71

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